Writing II

[copyKatt]

never a better time then the present. unless your a procratinator... then thats a different story entirely.

[Cobra5]

tassatul said:

I suppose the definition of classic is arbitrary anyways, so whatever.

I should start a full-length story sometime. I prolly ought to start now since its what i want to do for the rest of my life. . .

Yeah, I've constantly been trying to do a full length story, but every time I do, I lose motivation. That's me for ya

[Tassatul]

my favorite part is devfeloping plotlines and characters and storyarchs before i actually get to writing. And then, I rarely get that far.

[voice=jamesearljones]But you do not know the power of the procrastination, Will! Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy, as ubermod and admin. [/voice]

[therpmaker]

Oh cool, I didn't know there was a thread for this. Well, I'm in the process of writing a fantasy novel. Just for fun,I'll post the short prologue.



It was a cold mid-winter night on the shores of the Northern Peninsula. A fresh blanket of snow covered everything, as more began to flutter down to add to the beauty of the countryside. It had been a harsh season for the country of Kaldora, but not a sad one. It was the Year of the Heroes after all and it was a time for celebration. The days were filled with people feasting, drinking, singing and storytelling. The five races would put aside their differences and join together to enjoy the festivities. Peace had reigned through the world of Gendir for hundreds of years and the holiday was meant to celebrate such a feat.

The small village of Redin had been especially lively that day. A great feast had just taken place and the townsfolk were now winding down for the night. Festive decorations covered everything and remnants of food could be found lying everywhere. Young ones were put to rest, as the older of the village gathered at the inn to continue on with the jovial occasion. Kegs and bottles of beer, wine and rum were brought out amongst anxious cheers from the villagers, for it was forbidden to consume alcohol outside holidays. Mugs were quickly filled and songs of joy and happiness filled the air once more. It was truly a wonderful time to live in the world of Gendir.

On the other side of the village, however, an older man slowly limped through the entrance of the village. He struggled to stay upright as a searing pain constantly shot through his side. He had heard the singing from nearby and had headed toward it in hope of finding some assistance. Unfortunately, it had been further then he had perdicted and the traveling had taken it's toll. He was now hurt and fatigued, but he had been able to reach it. He didn't know what village it was or what kind of people lived there, but he decided to take that chance. He continued to limp down the path toward the singing and eventually caught sight of the inn. He began to go faster despite his injury, but he had pushed himself to far. He collapsed and blacked out before he could enter the inn.

When he finally opened his eyes, he found himself in a soft bed with his side neatly bandaged up. He slowly tried to get out of bed, but quickly laid back down as the pain started up again. "Somebody must have dragged me in, when they found me outside," he thought to himself. He could hear singing and laughter coming from downstairs, so he figured the villagers were still celebrating. He laid back and began to worry about how he would repay these fine people. He had no money and nothing of much value. Just then a quiet knock sounded from the door and a pretty young girl came in. She quietly walked up to the old man and began to unwrap his side to check his injury.

" You were lucky.", said the girl, "Your injury wasn't serious. It'll heal fully in a couple of weeks."

"That's good to hear.", replied the old man, "How long was I out?"

"Just a couple of hours."

"I see....were you the one who bandaged me up?"

"Yes, I was charged with your well-being."

"Then I wish to thank you, young lass, for helping me. Is it possible for me to have assistance getting downstairs?

"Of course," she replied as she helped him out of bed.

He leaned on her shoulder as they slowly descended the stairs to join in with the festivities. She walked him over to a chair by the fireplace and went to retrieve some food and drink for the unexpected visitor. As soon as he had touched the chair, people began asking about who he was, where he had come from and what had happened to him. He told them that he had come from the continent of Ragnoth to help his nephew with his blacksmithing. He had arrived in the port town of Water's edge a few days ago and had left for his brother's house. On the way, however, he was attacked by bandits and left for dead. He had only suffered a gash to the side and it was nothing lethal, so he wandered until finally stumbling into their village.

"That must have been an awful experience." remarked an older woman.

"Aye, it was indeed. I must thank you all for the help you have given me. There must be something I can do or give you in return, but I have nothing to give." said the old man.

"There is no need to give us anything for our help. But, you do come from another land, perhaps you can tell a story for us." replied a young man.

"A story, huh? I am not well versed in storytelling and I know not but a few. If you wish, I can recall the story of the heroes that we celebrate every five years. In fact, what we are celebrating right now."

"Oh yes, that would be a marvelous idea!" exclaimed a girl as the rest of the villagers nodded their head in agreement.

"Very well.....this story takes place over 400 years ago, when an era of peace, just like this one, covered the land. However, an ancient evil was stirring beneath the surface and a time of chaos began to shadow the unsuspecting land. Fighters were scarce in those days, for war and battle were a thing of the past. The darkness would have surely swallowed all of Gendir, if it hadn't been for our five brave heroes. And to think that it all started from the dreams of a simple young farmer....

[Tassatul]

Sorry about the month delay, but heres my opinion now, for what its worth. I like it so far, with the man entering the villiage injured. Perhaps, to make it more interesting, you could include some of the part about the man getting robbed, just to open with more action, rather than a couple long paragraphs to tell whats going on. I've always been told that that to 'show' (action, real time) is better than to 'tell' (long paragraphs). I also like the idea of a person telling the main story. It give you opportunities to break within the main story for some comic relief or, maybe just some clarification. Nice work!

maybe ill post something soon. . .

[Fargo Squire]

I've started a new project. I'm hoping to turn it into a novel, or at least a short story. What I'm trying to do, though, is wing it all the way. Start with an idea, and keep writing, but never write what I plan to. I get bored and quit whenever I just... write what I've already got planned. But if I'm surprising myself the whole time, well... that's a different story.

Here's my beginning.

[story]

I had an overturned medical table against my back and three bodies sprawled out and full of bullets in front of me. As strong as it was, my rear buffer had about taken all it could handle. Most of the enemy fire was coming over the top, some to my left. And, of course, plenty of it was working down the barrier itself. So I went right.

I had almost no time to prepare before the bullets switched targets, but a few of my rounds did find their way into a soldier's trigger arm at the other end of the corridor. There were still plenty more of them though, and that was the problem; I needed to get to the door they were guarding, but... They were guarding it.

I had a trick up my sleeve, however. Or rather, at my belt. Five seconds later, they were fragged all over the walls, and I charged full speed down the hall past a number of other corridors, which now rang with the sounds of enemy soldiers in pursuit. Didn't matter. I was at the door, inputing the access code with speed that impressed even me, and locking it behind me before I ever saw them.

But then I turned and saw him. Big guy, shotgun in one hand, heavy tower shield deal in the other, flamethrower on his back, and huge muscles quite apparent despite the standard armor. What was this, a video game? I quickly jumped to the side and let off no less than fourteen rounds in a wide spray. The guy spun his shield though, spun it, and sent every one of them flying uncontrolled around the room. My side of the room. One of them nailed me in the right hip from behind, sending me down on my knee in front of a very large man who was apparently not in the best of moods.

No, this was not a video game.

[/story]

That's short, and not as descriptive as it could be. But thus far, it's all about the action.

Did it read smoothly? Did you have to do any re-reading? That's what really matters to me. Interest factor and smoothness. Although whatever you have to say is also good. It's got some dependent clauses standing alone and such, but that's deliberate.

[Tassatul]

Interest factor was definately up there. I mean, the main character is just blazing guns through some facility, so that in itself is interesting. Plus, it brings up all kinds of questions. Why is he there? Why is the fact that he can input that access code a surprize to him? What he part of some kind of experiment? And so on. . . but yeah, lots of questions are good, because it keeps the reader wondering.

[Fargo Squire]

Well yeah. It starts out with action. All that stuff will, of course, be answered. But I don't know any of it yet.

The access code: I just meant that he did it really fast and was like "Whoa, that was fast." You know, like when you're messing around in the kitchen and you get a bowl out and toss it in the air and it lands bottom down right as you start pouring soup into it, and you're like "Heck yes!"

[Tassatul]

Oooh, see I went all conspiritorial on it, as if he had been "enhanced" somehow. Think of Wesley Snipes character in Demolition Man, when hes accessing the computer. Hes just like "whoa how am i doing this?"

[BugHunter]

Ooohh, i liked it. Read clearly. Though i dont know how a guy can "spin" his shield, but whatever. Its a kool little scene.

[Tassatul]

Something I've been tinkering with for a few years now, but has finally come into a real project. Quite a bit funnier if you get all the english references, or ever written a hardcore paper for some nazi english. . . but i digress.

The Beginning[/b]

From the dawn of recorded history, there has been religion in the lands of Biblio. For ages, multiple gods were worshipped, varying from generation to generation, always changing. None could ever agree upon a belief system, for none truly believed that they had found the “true” god. During the 8th era, two brothers came forth with a startling revelation. They claimed to have discovered the “true” god that all people of Biblio were destined to follow. Saussure and Hall, the brother prophets, as they came to be known, called this god Citation. At first, the people were skeptical, but as more information came forth, increasing numbers of people converted from their old ways. Sassure and Hall each developed different doctrines, but they found that the majority of their ideas were the same or similar. They had both come up with the principles of Underlinification, Capitalization, and Quotation as ways to revere the god Citation. Some minor differences did exist, and so the brothers founded separate religions, the MLA and the APA. For centuries, the two religions co-existed peacefully, each working together with the other, for they had the same goal, which was to pay reverence to Citation.

[Fargo Squire]

It took me a while to figure it out. At first I was like "You just took the names of literary devices and used them when you needed names..." But now I see it. I think people would actually buy into this. Especially people who like/know a lot about English.

[BugHunter]

Ohhh, now i get it. Once you got to Underlinification and Capitalization and etc. i figured out wut u were gettin at. Heh, sounds funny. But i dont get the reference of the names of the brothers, Sassure and Hall.

[Tassatul]

Well Ferdinand Saussure is like the father of semiotics. If you really want more details. . . *shudder* I suppose I could go into it. Hall I think was one of the original people involved with the APA or MLA, its kinda vague. Anywho, part next.

The Schism

Time passed under the religious rule of the MLA and the APA. The inhabitants of Biblio accepted Citation as the one true god and nearly all lived happily up until the 19th era. It was during this time that people began to have doubts about the system of worship they and their ancestors had followed for centuries. “How could something created eons ago still hold true in today’s modern times?” they asked. Not all were satisfied with the strict doctrines set out by the MLA and APA leaders. Some believed that something new and different could be achieved, and that this new religion would be better, more fulfilling. One such believer was Jacques Derrida. Derrida was filled with new ideas, and both he and his radical ideas became popular with the people of Biblio. He quickly rose to power within the APA hierarchy, consolidating a power base he had been planning out for years. Within the space of a few months, Derrida, using his new clout, completely changed the orientation of the APA. The once sacred canons of Underlinification and Quotation were completely eradicated under his command. Capitalization was completely revamped, nearly stripped of its importance. Revolutionists flocked to the renovated APA religion, following Derrida’s every move, amazed at daring of their new leader. Realizing this and basking in it, he crowned himself Emperor, fully accepting absolute power. Under Derrida’s rule, many thought, a new, better way to worship Citation was already underway.

[Fargo Squire]

Sorry, I never saw this. Which is weird, since I usually read everything and miss nothing that is posted on the board.

Is this going to be a story? A history of Biblio? I feel like it needs a plot, an antagonist, something. If you're going to introduce those things, you should space out the explanitude a little. Too much at once is crazy. If not, then nevermind.

It would also be nice to have some paragraph separation to make that block of text more digestible and coherent.

And last, I'm assuming "19th era" refers to the 1900's? I just wanted to make sure you didn't mean the 19th century, which in fact would be the 1800's.