Writing Thread

[BugHunter]

Yo Alfred, didn't I send ya the 7 email series via email? Did ya get them? Or did ya not have a chance to check since u didnt have internet

[Deimos]

dude...my unread email count must be in the hundreds by now...ugh

[Cobra5]

Dear Cecil:

Cecil, you're my final hope
Of finding out the true Straight Dope
For I have been reading of Schroedinger's cat
But none of my cats are at all like that.
This unusual animal (so it is said)
Is simultaneously live and dead!
What I don't understand is just why he
Can't be one or other, unquestionably.
My future now hangs in between eigenstates.
In one I'm enlightened, the other I ain't.
If you understand, Cecil, then show me the way
And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
Then I will and won't see you in Schroedinger's zoo.
--Randy F., Chicago

Dear Randy:

Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
(Not bad, eh? Don't worry. This part of the verse
Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)
Win saw that the theory that Newton'd invented
By Einstein's discov'ries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, "Don't panic,
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles
Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.
If that's not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
No sweat, though--my theory permits us to judge
Where some of 'em is and the rest of 'em was."
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E'en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, "Brother, suppose we've a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at--
Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got 'em,
One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
Or atom--whatever--but when it emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder's sealed. The hour's passed away. Is
Our pussy still purring--or pushing up daisies?
Now, you'd say the cat either lives or it don't
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, "Tough @#&!
We may not know much, but one thing's fo' sho':
There's things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons--you'll cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed--
Which ruins your test. But then if there's no testing
To see if a particle's moving or resting
Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
We know probability--certainty, never.'
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
'Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
"We've just flipped a coin and we've learned he's a corpse."'
So saith Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, "You're nuts.
God doesn't play dice with the universe, putz.
I'll prove it!" he said, and the Lord knows he tried--
In vain--until fin'ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: "Listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I'll say of this saint:
Ten-to-one he's in heaven--but five bucks says he ain't."

--CECIL ADAMS

[Deimos]

what the %&*# ?!

that's flippin' hilarious!
where the heck did you get the passage?

[copyKatt]

heh, i was looking up info about quantum mechanics and schroedinger and stuff, and i came across this. i showed it to will and he posted it up. clever, neh? it make me laugh

[Deimos]

heh, it works- made me laugh as well...despite having little knowledge over what was being said....

[Tassatul]

ahhh, shroedinger. Thats one section of my junior year I'd nearly blocked out. And its even better when you kinda know whats going on

[Cobra5]

Yeah, I was gonna try and explain, "Its bettter if you understand its just like this:..." but I couldn't think of a short way of describing it.

[copyKatt]

you never can

[Cobra5]

Ouch. The sting of truth.

[Deimos]

at least understand...

[palla]

(Author's Note:[/u] I was attempting to follow The Italian (or Petrarchan) Sonnet form. I believe I got the rhyme scheme (a b b a a b b a / c d d c d c) down fairly well, if a little awkward, but I have never gotten how iambic pentameter is supposed to work. Therefore, this was an attempt at a sonnet, but if it does not work completely well as one, please let me know what I can do to fix it.)


Let me touch you late at night
against the cold, hold you close, head to toes
skin to skin, devoid of clothes
when sun is gone and moon is bright.
A tightening knot, not of fright
within my stomach, struggling to compose
what courage is needed to take this skin, this pale rose
To destroy its purity before the break of morning's light.



Gentle lips to kiss your brow
fingers to caress, tips dipping here and there
to feel your skin as it shivers from the air
You convulse, I want you now
your eyes say, 'go ahead, take the dare'
The only question is how?

[Cobra5]

Hey, let's try to tone it down a bit, hm? There are kids here.

I'm not even gonna bother with a reivew becuase you probably know what I'm gonna say anyway.

[Cobra5]

Well, I'm glad nobody cared. I would've hated that turning into a conversation.

protest.net/

Could someone tell me what this site is about? Is it about what I think its about? I really want to know, but eveyr time I try to read the site, I just start laughing uncontrolably.

Seriously. As I understand it, its like they gathered everyone I've ever made fun of into a single website. But that can't possably be true.

[BugHunter]

I finally got time to read that Schroedinger or whatever. I dont quite get it...

As for Heather's sonnet, I dont see anything terrible or special, so I aint shootin it down. Actually, it aint that bad. Seems well put together. The only thing I think could improve would be the very last line -- "The only question is how?" There's gotta be a better line than that to close it. The imagery is clear, though most of it goes without much explaination. Not bad.


As for the protest site. I dont see whats so bad about this site. Its people trying to make a difference. And whats so funny?