Writing Thread

[BugHunter]

Dr. said:

You...dont hate anymore? What do you just give up "hate" like a diet? Like "hmm I dont feel like hatin' anymore today, I think I will feel remorse and pity instead!" Just like that huh? Its not like "hate" is a word created by humans to be used by humans or anything...its not like it only means "strongly dislike"....or smililar...I personally feel that there is a huge difference between "strongly disliking" mushrooms and having "remorse" or "pity" for them....dont you agree?

Yea buddy, it is that easy to stop hating.... And did i use use the words "remorse" and "pity" as a replacement for the word "hate"? Of course I wasn't and of course there's a big difference between their meanings. You're just trying to find a way to make me sound stupid by twisting what I say, just like you always do. Pity is being sympathetic to someone's suffering (that is if they really are suffering...). Hate is intense hostility and anger towards someone. Now how the frell could I not know the difference?

And you'd think someone would uphold the idea of deciding not to hate anymore... *rolls eyes* Take it to Dan to advocate hate lol

[bogiethomas]

ok its up to me to be mature about this...........i'm gonna tell my mom on you if you don't stop being mean!! waaahhhh!

[palla]

Oi...well, there have been a lot of developments in my life in the past several months that make this story different from the rest, though it obviously does not seem like it yet. When I have the time, I'll write more and post it so that Alys and whoever else wants to can understand.

Will, when you say "buck up and be happy", you really don't seem to understand that it is not always that easy. To you it might seem easy, but everyone is different.

I'm not saying I'm special because I'm depressed and antisocial and all that other "dark" stuff. I just choose to write about it because it helps me deal with my problems. You say to cope; this is one of my ways of coping (along with talking to a professional).

Surprisingly enough, I have written something that isn't depressing. Unfortunately, its on the computer I have in my apartment and the floppy drive on that one is being uncooperative. I started writing a book for NaNoWriMo last month, but I havent finished it yet. There are about seven chapters to it so far. I'd like to try and get it copywrited first before posting it on the Internet, just in case it comes up in a legal agreement or something.

[BugHunter]

This is why we share the writing. You tell us about your problems and we give you whatever advice we have...if we have any at all. I tell ya one thing, if your mindset stays with the thought that it isn't easy to be happy, then of course you're not gonna be happy. You just have to let go of whatever baggage you're still carrying.

[Cobra5]

Alezandrane said:

Will, when you say "buck up and be happy", you really don't seem to understand that it is not always that easy. To you it might seem easy, but everyone is different.

And that's true only becuase you tell yourself that. Sure you can say. "Oh, this makes me so sad" and "Oh, what a big problem!" and "Oh, I can't just 'get over' this!". But why not say, instead, "Its not a big deal."

And yes, it is that easy, for everyone.

It's not different for everyone. Or rather, it is, but only becuase you think it is. You only feel sad becuase you want to- there is never another reason, ever. And sure, you could argue against that as much as you want, but why? Why not just accept it?

So something sad happened. So someone is mean, no, everyone is mean. So, all of your friends are gone, left behind, moved away, or worse, just dead. So everyone hates you? So you hate everyone? So this person did that to you, or that person did this to you, or this or that or whatever. Blah blah blah. So who cares?

And go ahead. Deny it to yourself all you want- "I can't do that". "I just dosn't work like that for me." But that's only true becuase you say it is.

But its wasted words. I already know whats going to happen, 'cuase we've been through this a million times, and its always the same, and the same thing always happens, and the same thing is going to happen to you, again, just like last time, Just like I said it would last time. So go ahead, ignore everything I just said, tell me I'm wrong, whatever. our only hurting yourself.

I mean, hell, look at bughunter. He just stopped hating As sceptical as Dan is, I cirtainly believe its possable, 'cuase I've done the same thing. We are who we make ourselves to be, no-one else can change that unless we let them, period.

I tell ya one thing, if your mindset stays with the thought that it isn't easy to be happy, then of course you're not gonna be happy

HA! See, I'm not the only one. but I'm sure that's not proof in your mind.

I just choose to write about it because it helps me deal with my problems.

True enough, I suppose, but trust me, it dosn't work nearly as well as you think. I mean, even after you talk about it till your blue in the face, its still there, isn't it? Even after you write your stories, you just get sad again, don't you? You shouldn't be dependant on pity (argue if you want, that's what it boils down to, and I admit I've done it plenty of times before) under any circumstances, becuase then your just getting yourself set up for more sadness.

But whatever. Just go on, keep doing what your doing. I guess its working out for you...

[bethel]

How very arrogant for one to say "do thus", "write this" and "feel that".
some people write dark things to get it out of them... to get that depression or pain or even joy through their systems and out on paper. I have found that if I write my pain out it gets it away from me... thats how I "deal". Its true sad things happen, its true that some people have it harder than others. Some people are capable of dealing with more than others... Bughunter pick up a bible, read psalms ... really read it.. David a man after gods own heart felt dispair... and its true he knew triumph as well ... but you have the privilage of seeing his whole life written out... not just a few years as we are able to know each other. How arrogant, how dissapointing for you not to undersand that...
Do you read L.M. montgomery, Poe, or Steven King, how about Tom Clancy?
Bughunter your a christian, go to a christian book store one of the most celebrated writers you will find are names such as: Brock and Bodie Thoene, Michael Phillips and Judith Pella, How about Jannet Oak... hell pick up a copy of Pilgrims progress? (Yeah, I'm picking on you, and its because your a chrisitan, I hold you to a high standard.. no its not fair. But I hold myself it it so deal.)
Many of these writers write from the heart, many write very dark subject matter... Their characters feel joy and pain and as readers we feel those things with them... sometimes good doesnt always win out, sometimes your hero dies or goes nuts... sometimes you get happily ever after. You want to be coddled by your authurs? Go read the Babysitters club and Hardy Boys. Dont bother with litterature, and certainly dont pick up a bible.
I dont know I'll drop this after this post because I honestly think it wont do any good... I think your so caught up telling heather to get over her crap that you cant even see your own issues. Besides its a writing thread and I have writing to do and stories to critique. Besides, I've been harsh and Alys is probably going to growl at me as it is.
----------------------

Alys!

wow, that story was horrible, never forgive you. Think I'll toss you into the streat and beat you with a large trout... J/K.
Seriously I read this story before so Alys already knows what I think of it but for the sake of anyone else who cares I'll tell ya. Its disjointed.. and thats a compliment, I'll tell ya why. I like that the memory doesnt really make sense, because its thru the eyes of a small child durring what could easily be considered a traumatic memory. It confuses and intrigues.... which is really cool and makes me a little envious because I struggle alot with writing first person especialy through the eyes of a child.
Its vague, and this is a compliment as well.... It alows enough information for the reader to be interested, and leaves enough out for the reader to draw their own conclusions...(I know I felt confused and sad after first reading this, but it made me relate to the confused sad child... and want more which is exactly what I like about it.) oh sure they may be wrong... but you have plenty of time later in the story to fill them in and correct their missconceptions (if any)... I think vague and somewhat confused is a neat way to start a story writen in first person.
The first paragraph is my favorite though, no reason other than that its pretty... I like pretty words.
--------------------------
Will

I love theives... they are so fun to write arn't they?
You seem to have an entire story thought out here, thats good and while I see a good start in building your characters personalities and how they work in the storyline I cant help but wonder when will is looking around at Inns and the town in general and when Katt says "Its for a good 'cuase... and look at these people!" what is there to look at? I think you could be more discriptive and perhaps add more color to the story in so doing. Discribe something even if its just the smell of the air or a child running across the street...
Also, you might want to have them enter the Inn wearing hoods unless you want them to be caught right away... its bad practice for a theif to walk in uncloaked and then put on their cloak in the middle of the Inn before slinking mysteriously up stairs to do their work.... and you seem to be trying to build characters who have been successfull at stealing you want to be consistant with that or explain why they got sloppy.

One other thing.... all your main characters seem to be named Will...... you might try giving them a unique name.... something to add to the individuality and color of the character... Most writers pattern part if not all of their characters off of some piece of themselves... but its still a good idea to show some variety and give your characters the respect of their own name.

[Cobra5]

I love theives... they are so fun to write arn't they?
You seem to have an entire story thought out here, thats good and while I see a good start in building your characters personalities and how they work in the storyline I cant help but wonder when will is looking around at Inns and the town in general and when Katt says "Its for a good 'cuase... and look at these people!" what is there to look at? I think you could be more discriptive and perhaps add more color to the story in so doing. Discribe something even if its just the smell of the air or a child running across the street...
Also, you might want to have them enter the Inn wearing hoods unless you want them to be caught right away... its bad practice for a theif to walk in uncloaked and then put on their cloak in the middle of the Inn before slinking mysteriously up stairs to do their work.... and you seem to be trying to build characters who have been successfull at stealing you want to be consistant with that or explain why they got sloppy.

One other thing.... all your main characters seem to be named Will...... you might try giving them a unique name.... something to add to the individuality and color of the character... Most writers pattern part if not all of their characters off of some piece of themselves... but its still a good idea to show some variety and give your characters the respect of their own name.

That's the first time I can remmeber someone critiquing me

Yeah, there's a whole story planned out... its soul saber, an RPG we run here, and possably our best one (but then again, I'm biased, It was my idea ;D). So the story is mostly out of my control. Its nice, though, its a lot easier to write when you have a frame to work within.

Theives... meh. They can be fun to write but on a whole a prefer more fighter types, at least in my reading/writing. Call me shallow, but I like a lot of action in books. D&D or Baldur's Gate, though, Theif all the way ;D. Though, Katt is trying to proove a point to will by leaving her hood off... Will is very paranoid, while Katt is laid back (or, more appropriatly, reckless)... Also, only Katt is a theif, Will is more like someone who got roped in to her trouble (a Big part of their story)... So if you see Will doing any thieving at all, expect it to be very unprofessional.

All of my stories have at least one character named Will. He's not always based off me, but he's always my favorite. This version of him has bits of me (which is always ture, I guess), but isn't a carbon copy. Though, I've never like names that actually describe a person. Ever. I don't like that at all... I choose names at random, literally, from long lists. Something I don't think I'm going to change, ever, just like my name Cobra5 (something I've had since I was a little kid).

As for the description thing ("...Look athe these people...") Uh... she's talking about a bunch of drunks. She telling Will to notice that these people deserve to have their money stolen 'cuase they're wasting it on beer. Somehow I don't think children running through the street would be an appropriate description.

I love description in my writing, or in any writing, though I don't think that's an appropriate area. She was just gesturing to drunks, it wasn't supposed to actually build on the atmosphere. Though, I'll focus a bit more on building envronment, I generally leave it open and focus more on actions then surroundings.

[BugHunter]

How very arrogant for one to say "do thus", "write this" and "feel that".
some people write dark things to get it out of them... to get that depression or pain or even joy through their systems and out on paper. I have found that if I write my pain out it gets it away from me... thats how I "deal". Its true sad things happen, its true that some people have it harder than others. Some people are capable of dealing with more than others... Bughunter pick up a bible, read psalms ... really read it.. David a man after gods own heart felt dispair... and its true he knew triumph as well ... but you have the privilage of seeing his whole life written out... not just a few years as we are able to know each other. How arrogant, how dissapointing for you not to undersand that...
Do you read L.M. montgomery, Poe, or Steven King, how about Tom Clancy?
Bughunter your a christian, go to a christian book store one of the most celebrated writers you will find are names such as: Brock and Bodie Thoene, Michael Phillips and Judith Pella, How about Jannet Oak... hell pick up a copy of Pilgrims progress? (Yeah, I'm picking on you, and its because your a chrisitan, I hold you to a high standard.. no its not fair. But I hold myself it it so deal.)
Many of these writers write from the heart, many write very dark subject matter... Their characters feel joy and pain and as readers we feel those things with them... sometimes good doesnt always win out, sometimes your hero dies or goes nuts... sometimes you get happily ever after. You want to be coddled by your authurs? Go read the Babysitters club and Hardy Boys. Dont bother with litterature, and certainly dont pick up a bible.
I dont know I'll drop this after this post because I honestly think it wont do any good... I think your so caught up telling heather to get over her crap that you cant even see your own issues. Besides its a writing thread and I have writing to do and stories to critique. Besides, I've been harsh and Alys is probably going to growl at me as it is.

woa, woa, woa, woa, woa.... What the hey did i do? Will's the one yelling at his ex, but I get my legs chopped off? What is going on? And I politely suggested to her to let go of her baggage... And I'm advocating the idea of ending hate.... Can't a good guy get a break? And why the heck are you calling me arrogant? And where did the idea that I dont understand despair come from? Of course I've read dark stories from great writers and I would never say its complete nonsense. My only point was that I said that every 2 bit writer that pops up is writing about dark stuff. I do not have a problem with reading about the dark stuff itself, my problem (well its only just a slight peeve really, I can enjoy my own life without it being fixed...) is that this stuff seems to be emphasized and emphasized so much now, its no wonder people only see dark things. It was just an observation! And heck ya I know that the Bible is full of sad stories. I mean, just look at the story of the crucificion of Jesus Christ! I know this! I understand the Bible definitely is rated R. Even I have a bit of a dark past, but I try not to emphasize it anymore... not that I'm saying that I'd try and stop other people from emphasizing it. I wasn't getting all huffy puffy, I was just making an observation that every upcoming writer (well not even real writers. It can just be people writing essays) that I meet just seems to emphasize this stuff. Like just the other day, in one of my classes, we were given a simple prompt to write one line of poetry. Just one. It could have been about anything. And I do not lie when I say at least 90% of the people wrote something about death, pain, suffering, or something like that. And these were just normal people. Sure a bunch said they were writers, but look at what everyone wrote when asked to write something on their mind. Its become a stereotype (but i think people really do think this) -- the belief that in order to be ligit, you have to write about dark stuff, as if that really makes you different. Yea, that might be a part of it, maybe my peeve comes from people who actually think that you have to be dark to be different. But you know who was different that way, me! Me who wrote about purple monkeys doing the hamster dance! (Yea, I really did write about that that day, lol) ;D. And lastly, i hate being attacked with these so called "religious standards". I dont like those. One slip and automatically the reply is "how can you call yourself a Christian?". BS if you ask me. And thats the problem with religion. All you focus on is the standards that PEOPLE have put before you and you lose sight of what its really about and thats not right. Christianity is suppost to be all about God and what JC has done, not standards (although good to have). So I dont care what you say about me, nobody can sever my connection with the Holy Lord. booyah

[bethel]

I meant to aim alot of that at both you and Will, in rereading I think I failed.... I understand why Will cant be objective... not saying its right.. but at least I understand why he isnt exactly fair with his ex. The sentance about arrogance was aimed at Will.
Will picked on his ex, and you helped that makes no sense to me.... you told her to fix herself... just stop being sad... tell me.. the things that have changed in your life since you found your peace with God.. did those occur just because you decided? Or because God helped you work through them? I think it was God...it seems hypocritical of you to expect someone to fix themselves when your healing came from a diety...

I didn't understand why your so negative twords anything written that is dark, it bothers me greatly... and perhaps I am harder on you because of your beliefs... its probably not right but it bothers me when christianity is professed and when someone says "peace and love" and speaks of understanding but seems to not only fail to make a stand for it when it matters but to jump on the bandwagon of someone who is going contrary to it.... I dont mean to hurt your feelings. I really am sorry if I did... and I am not sure how you think I am trying to sever your connection with God.... I couldnt for one thing, its impossible, you know that. For another, why would I try if my only real gripe with you is that you dont study the cornerstone of what you believe, or practice what you proffess.... I dont know, I'm having a crappy day and was I think too hard on you in my last post. So I'll offer a public apology for hurting your feelings.

[BugHunter]

First off, I accept your apology. So everything after that, I'm just talking, even if I'm yelling... got it? good.

Second of all, CAN'T I BE HUMAN FOR ONCE!!! Just because I am Christian, DOES NOT make me better than anyone else. How many times do i have to say this!? It is a stereotype and must be broken! I am on the same boat as everyone else. Being Christian means I have accepted that JC paid the penalty for my sin and that I am trying, or should I say struggling, to flee from the devil's and world's ways and follow God's way's and JC's example (those in itself are really huge statements). That is the cornerstone Christianity! It is sooooo simple. Sometimes the biggest, most friggin complicated truth is just so freakin simple. And I do understand there are several different truths, but they do lead to the same point (this line is just to get Dan off my back if he reads this). Everything else is just trying to satisfy an image and I am definitely not gonna be about that!

Third of all, I've known these people on the board for how many years. Whenever I talk crap like "Lets go get smashed, guys!" or "Here come the cheerleaders!" I am friggin joking! And they know that, well except for Dan who actually thinks I'm being serious when I pull out the Spaminator... When I speak of things that are the complete opposite of that stereotypical "Christian" image, I'm just messing around with close friends! Its me, just being another person in the group. And I'd love to shout His name on a mountain, but I did it over here instead and it had dicy consequences then. Not that I'd let that discourage me, as you can see, I am still here, but I've adapted to keep my enthusiasm on a balanced down-low, but you and a few other's entrance has obviously brought out a new surge in me of having to announce my faith to the whole world, which is obiviously evident as I type this very post. But I'm taking it as another test so I'm going with it, and I haven't been closer to God in awhile so I am thankful for having to come out of my comfort zone. But dude, this is such a cliche story that I get grinded for professing faith! Does anyone not see this? I so feel like i'm in a movie...

Fourth of all, I'm just a kid! I only just turned 18 last Sunday, I'm still a neophyte in the world, and I'm doin the best I can! And you dont know me and I dont know you. I've only been what, talkin to you online for a month? So forgive me if I dont care if you think I'm not doing my best at being a "good Christian". I and God know I'm doing my best and thats all that matters.

Fifth of all, How many times do I have to say I really am not that negative towards dark writing! You know what, I dont care anymore... People can stay dark. If they choose to decide not to see the light, thats them. Whatever.

Sixth of all, you know what, I so wanted to say "Take your problems up to God", that's what I do, but this is Heather I'm talkin to, someone I've known for how many years, I knew she wasn't gonna go for that, so I decided to resort to the next best thing and say "let go of your luggage". That would have been more understood and recieve less resistance and yet still do the same job. And the reason why I decided to join Will in the "just stop being sad" crusade is because me and Will know Heather. But if you didn't notice, I wasnt being as harsh, now was I?

Seventh of all, do you really want to know how i got to be where I am now? It was frelling hard arse work!!! Before I got saved, I was in the biggest rut in my life! No, I was F'ed up! I was in terrible shape! I cussed constantly! I definitely had a short temper back then. Back then, it was soo true for me that every single day there was a reason to yell. Every day, and I tested and recorded it, there was not a single day that went by in my house that someone wasn't yelling. It was that whole disgusting cliche story of depression, anger, shit, shit, and more shit. And back then, when I talked about crap like "lets go beat the shit out of that guy" I wasn't kidding. All I saw was the negative. I really did. For the most part, I never bothered seeing the good side to a lot of things. Back then my values were strength no matter what the cost. I embraced anger. Sorrow and pity were stupid emotions. Fuck honor, as long as you were the best. Being kind was foolish. When I played games then, I didn't just play for fun. And i didnt just want to defeat my opponent, I wanted to kill him, crush him! Add insult to injury if I could! I held grudges like forever. Screw forgive and forget. I never read the Bible, fuck the Bible! Fuck this shit and fuck everything!! And lets not forget the porn hording days. I'll admit this crap. And I'll continue to be honest, I still look at porn, I'm still a guy, but it definitely is more controlled than it was back then, and I definitely can resist temptation a whole lot more now. And back then, even though I was gettin good grades and looked like a decent kid, I was hiding quite a bit. Though I have to admit I had it better than most, and I thank God for letting me realize it before it was too late. But for awhile my whole family even stopped goin to church. I DIDN'T want to go to church. And if I was there, I definitely didn't listen and so wanted to go back home to just freakin to to sleep... I soo hated God back then. I hated my parents even more. I fucking tried to commit suicide three fucking times!!! All three times were right after HUGE fights between me and my parents after I fucked up really big. Its a true miracle I didn't go through with it. I had the knife in my hand. I had the fucking gun in my hand!!! I knew where my Dad hid the freakin gun, ha. All the crazy shit I was thinking about doing with it...damn. And this was before I even got to know God and yet I'm still here. A voice in my head was saying it isn't worth killing yourself for these assholes. Although that voice is much nicer sounding now, that just goes to show that even though I hated God, He was still with me, but I didn't know that then.

[BugHunter]

*large gasps of air...*

oh man... what the hell did I just type... Oh well, I have to continue the story. So there I was... that was me then... the fucked up me... hold on... let me pull myself together...

sigh... okay. Now to the point where I got saved. So then there was that time when me and my family didn't go to church anymore. And I've been a part of that church for a really long time, almost, almost what... 11 years? I was there before the our current pastor was there and he's been there for... i think 9ish years? Man, I've been in the background of that church like forever. Unfortunate that I wasn't more active with it then I would love to be now, but I'm here at college. Man, I remember when all the kids were.... little kids! Its a small cosey Baptist church where everyone knows each other's name and its like in a rural/suburban area, stuck inbetween or something like that. Okay, back to the story. What I'm gonna say now happened like 2 years ago, when I was 16. So anyway, we didn't go to church for awhile for some reason. Then out of nowhere, for some reason I had the urge to...go to church? Yea, so I was like, hey guys, lets go to church. They were like, okay. So thus ends the huge MIA Acupans from church episode. Actually it was so kool to be back with familiar faces and whatnot. You know the weird thing is, when we left the church it was... kinda dying. Like the seats during worship were never filled and no one came to the Bible studies or the youth group... But when we came back POW! Man, that place was filled! Worship service was almost overflowing! Youth group was larger than I have ever seen it!!! I dont want to say anything, but that has got to be symbolic of somthing, lol. And another revelation came to me, since I'm coming to church and sitting down to listen to the pastor during worship, why dont I actually pay attention! I know... a shocker. So anyway, I'm actually listening to what the pastor has to say. I even took notes! You know, like as if I were in a classroom, lol. My pastor even has his message up on a projector as he goes, so it really was like a classroom, lol. But this stuff sounded pretty kick arse to me, and it made sense! So I paid even more attention. I never paid attention during Sunday school when i was a little kid, lol, I was such a trouble maker. But look at me now, paying attention in church (and not sleeping) and taking notes! This is right around some real changes were goin on inside of me. God was definitely coming in and cleaning things up. Things at home were even starting to get better. I didn't quite think it then, but I was taking my first steps with the big guy. Fast forward a bit to the end of that summer. This was the big event! Me and the Youth Group went off to go see a Christian concert called Autumn Blaze. Man...this is why i write stuff in my journal, I'm forgetting details, but I dont have the dang thing with me. And I wrote in great detail! But anyway, this was over at that huge hockey stadium... I forget which team and where, but there was a huge football stadium there as well... I bet if I mentioned names of teams or places you'd all know where it is...but dang. So anyway, this wasn't a small event. There was like how many people there. A whole crap load of other youth groups definitely. And I never experienced such a thing before cus I never went to a football game or whatever, but outside while we were waiting for the concert to begin, it was like waiting for a football game, lol, cus out in the parking lot like everyone was having a barbeque and whatnot. We'd just go around everyone's stands and grab some grub, lol. Skateboarders everywhere. A small band was playing outside the entrance. Great fun, lol. Then the concert started. It was pretty cool. They were playing music that I knew since that was the stuff my church played. And give it up for Christian rappers, lol. So anyway, forget all that, the real big thing during this night and why I bring it up is because this was when I publicly decided to follow Christ and became a born again Christian. But this was all building up til then. Right from when I decided to go back to church up until now. I mean, I already knew I was trying to follow God, I just never said it outloud. Heck, I didn't really admit it to myself. So this was a big step for me to take. And the whole process was going just like it does in my church, after the music, prayer, then blah blah, so I was like taking this all like signs, like hmm... maybe this is it, maybe I should take the plunge? Then came the part when those who are deciding to accept Christ for the first time can have the opportunity to get up and go to the back to discuss their decision with counselors and whatnot. Now, normally when this part comes up, I'm like "um...I think I'll stay here...". Now its more complex than how I'm explaining this, but I feel as though I'm running out of time, I've spent more than an hour typing this post... But then I was like, dude, maybe I should get up. It wasn't as easy as that sounds. I think I like spent a good long minute contemplating this, and this is all compiled up with how far I've come with knowing about God, Christ, and the gospel during church and all that progression I've been having and changes. But when I finally decided, I was gonna make DANG SURE that I was making this decision by myself and without peer pressure getting involved from my friends like "hey come on man, lets do this, it'll be fun!". Heck no, I was making sure this was my personal decision and not a phony one. But man was I getting nervouse as I made my way to the back by myself. Like "man, what the heck am I doing" "Go on, you can do this". But guess what, it turned out I didn't have to on my own. Another of my friends was deciding to go. So I didn't have to do this alone, another time God eased my nerves. That was so great. And man, when I was talking to the counselor, my body was freakin shaking. Must've been my nerves. But dude.... Then I was crying, the whole package. Seriously, i am so in a movie. But on my way back, it felt as if such a huge weight was lifted off of my chest! Seriously, I could have flown I felt so light! And the end of the concert was I think the best band of them all. It was... it was one heck of a night...! I swear, whatever was left of my old self died right there and I became born again, holy cow. There's a few remnants of him left but I am Superman in comparison now! lol. Like now, nothing bothers me as much anymore. By this time, I changed so much. The whole changed! Like, I see everything different now. All those church lessons, as korny as it sounds, they actually really do help, lol. The home front was WAAAAYYYY much better. Back then there was not a day that went by without a fight, peace reigns now. I freakin talk to my mother now!!!!!! Dude, all this divine intervention or whatever changed my freakin life. God helped guide me out of darkness and I am forever grateful. I am grateful for everything now! I LOVVVVE LIFE!!!!! Dang yo!

oh man.... what a ride writing this post was... Oh and uh... sorry for the harsh language. I didn't know I could get so touchy with this stuff... Soooo... Well... thats my story really. I might have missed a few details at the end. Like I could have given you the exact day, place and time I became born again, but I dont have the journal i wrote that in with me... um... dang. I wonder how you guys see me now. hmm...closing statements...closing statements... Oh i got a good one, dont do drugs!!! ;D And no, I haven't done drugs... Actually you know what, Thanks Beth! I haven't written like this in a long time. And I'm glad this is finally out. So, thanks for getting me to say my crap, lol.

... I'm still contemplating hiting this post button... Oh what the hey *posts*

[Cobra5]

Bethel said:

I meant to aim alot of that at both you and Will, in rereading I think I failed.... I understand why Will cant be objective... not saying its right.. but at least I understand why he isnt exactly fair with his ex. The sentance about arrogance was aimed at Will.
Will picked on his ex, and you helped that makes no sense to me....

Don't think her being my ex has anyhting to to with me being harsh. I'm lik ethis with my friends, I'm like this with my siblings, and I was like that with her when we were still going out.

I'm never mean to anyone,ever, even people I hate (and admittadly And don't think there's any hate between us since we've broken up, becuase there isn't. (or rather, if there is, its the other way around and she hates me ) I have high expectations on people in general, that's everyone, and I have no sympathy for anyone who dosn't help themself.

Berate me if you want. Its the way I see it

the things that have changed in your life since you found your peace with God.. did those occur just because you decided? Or because God helped you work through them? I think it was God...it seems hypocritical of you to expect someone to fix themselves when your healing came from a diety...

That's how it worked for me. Yep- I literally, overnight, decided "Why do I feel so sad?". I thought about it hard. Very hard. Why should I feel that way at all? Why should I feel sad? Why should I hate myself? Why should I depend on others to cheer me up? Those are things I've thought before... but this time, I considered them more seriously... and when I came to the conclusion that I didn't need to feel negative, then I literally just stopped feeling sad, hating myself, and letting people walk all over me.

And if I were him, I would be offended by that comment. Very offended. It wasn't even aginst me and it makes me mad. Just becuase God, or a God, helps a person make their life better, dosn't mean their victory is any less hard-earned or deserved. Having faith in religion dosn't amke you a better person. its just a catalyst- We are the ones, always, who change ourselves. Just becuase you have no faith in people to change their ways dosn't mean you should try and rub it off on others, especially on people who need that faith more then anyone else.

Why are you arguing against it anyway? Don't you think leaving sadness behind is a good thing? Why would you want to try and prevent that? You think that people should be less harsh in their views, fine. But don't try and shoot down everything they (we, I) say.

As for Bughuntetr's long post, I havn't read it all yet. but every time I make a huge post (which is very common), I know that feeling about how your cursor just hovers over that post button... and you just don't know if you want evyerone to read all that. You dno't want everyone to judge the comments. Trust me, I know that feeling too well


[edit] Ok, now, that's exactly what I am talking about! ;D For Francis it was religion- it made him want to be a better person and to just leave the sadness and hatred behind. For me, it was just me, I wanted a better life for myself. But my story is very similar. Just replace finding God with learning that I don't have to let other people dictate my feelings, and that I should control myself, not other people or other events. Otherwise, man, I feel like he was reading my own biogrophy to me, so I definatly know how you felt that whole time, man .

Everyone on this Earth has the capacity to just leave the crap behind. And by crap, I literally mean, the crap, all that buildup inside us. The sadness, the hatred... whatever. Its just up to us to relize when. That's all there is to it. There isn't even a great deal of effort involved. You just have to relize, either through a friend, or religion, or even just yourself, or whatever, that you don't ever have to let stuff bother you, period.

People refuse ot believe. They say "I'm not that strong" or "Its not that easy" or "It's different for you, Will"/ These are the people I have no sympathy for, and the exact kind of person I try to help. Due to my lack of sympathy I may come off as harsh... but that's only becuase I mean to be harsh. Everyone can do it, and sayign you can't is only insulting yourself.

Look at us, for example. Both of us were once bad people. We helped ourselves, and there's no reason everyone shouldn't be able to do that. And if you honestly believe that you are too weak or unable to do that... Well, its your own damn fault and you deserve to be sad. Yeah, that's harsh, but like I said, no sympathy for people who won't help themselves.

[Deimos]

I don't exactly know what the argument was (I'm trying to do this before a class comes in) but I read through Cobra's and Bughunter's posts respectively- and if there's anything I can respond to its just that.

I agree with Cobra on the sense that, everything that happens to you is technically on your own account (IF that's what he was saying)- unless you have some exceptional reason (those who are born disabled for example). And if you simply go on saying that you can't or it's not enough- then you don't deserve ANYthing.
It's up to you alone to leave it all, or just live with it and let it fester...something I understand, because I was like that myself (those who remember me WAY back, should remember my temper problem).

I had a bad anger issue, and went about either choking people or insulting them to tears...that was years ago. It took me only until the summer between 8th grade and 9th grade to realize that...well...I had nobody to turn to because I shut everyone out with the exception of a few people who bothered to put up with me. And even with them, I wasn't acting my true self. SO...what did I do about it...I let go, simple as that- I took a moment to re-examine myself...go outside and just let go of everything. From that point forward, I decided to be who I wanted to be, who I really was...the guy even my mom told me that I should've been all along...a nice guy who was a little bit of everything. Myself, it had nothing to do with religion, but nonetheless- to each their own. I simply decided to let go, for Bug- he had a moment of enlightenment (I wasn't there physically to see it, but I could tell he changed and did complete 180)

In the end, it made ME finally realize what Will had been saying in his post- that it's all up to YOU. And you can let go anytime you want, because you're the only one who can. There really isn't any other excuse for it- everyone has the same amount of time (I mean, we were all given the same amount of time as oh say...Mother Teresa, Siddhartha, Muhammad, etc), we are all capable fully deciding for ourselves, and most importantly- your life is in your hands and your hands alone.

So there's my own allusion to the story and the point to be made- I just hope that I didn't screw up lol. Either way, no one is TRULY unable to do something about the situation they're in- everyone is -wether or not they see that...is their own problem.

[bethel]

Okay, well we are all well off topic. There are stories to write and critique. Alys and Will posted stories that no one commented on and If we all expended these engergies creativly they would probably make for better reading than rants and missinterpretations. So if anyone wants to rant at me further or growl or agree or whatever at me PM me... I really dont mind in fact I think its interesting how people view changes in themselves and others but I do feel like we are subtracting from the thread here and the stories posted on it.

[Abishai]

I concurr; on with the stories.